We're Incompatible…Now What?

Your astrological charts may conflict—but that doesn't mean it's time to jump ship

Natasha Burtonby Natasha BurtonMarch 31, 2014
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We've all heard the phrase "match made in heaven" to describe couples who seem meant for each other. But some astrological pairings, though technically "made" from the stars, can be anything but heavenly.

For example, Libra and Cancer is a notoriously tricky love match, with the former seeking variety and the latter craving stability. Double Scorpios present another challenging romantic pairing because you're dealing with two very passionate people, who may be either obsessed with each other or hell-bent on destroying one another (or both). So what happens when you start dating someone and realize that, despite your mutual love for Thai food and the same obscure indie bands, your zodiac signs just don't mesh?

Test your love compatibility!

First, try not to overthink it. You shouldn't feel as if your union is doomed just because you've been deemed astrologically "incompatible," says marriage and family therapist Rachel Sussman, author of The Breakup Bible. Although recent research shows that people do prefer to date someone they're compatible with, differences in relationships are inevitable, and can end up being beneficial. "The process of working with someone who is different than you are is often how you grow as an individual and develop empathy," Sussman says.

In fact, knowing your inherent differences up front could actually benefit your relationship. "Use whatever information your charts provide to create awareness of any potential problems," matchmaker Susan Trombetti advises. "If you're aware, you have the benefit of solving the problem ahead of time and not being so caught off guard." Conflicting charts give you a platform to work through areas in which you're incompatible, according to Sussman. "For example, if one person is very social and outgoing, and the other is a bit shy, a couple can try to work through this problem by practicing compromise and negotiation—two key skills every couple must learn to have a successful relationship," she explains.

Find out what went wrong in your last relationship

Therefore, while a mismatched love reading could lead you to second guess or abandon a budding relationship, don't make yourself crazy overanalyzing it. "Thinking you're doomed could become a self-fulfilling prophecy," Trombetti warns. "It might make you find flaws and reasons to support your theory." This could ultimately cause you to blow off someone who'd otherwise be great for you.

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